God the Father?
I Need More of God in My Life
Or God the Holy Spirit?
It makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong when I pray, or why I bother at all, so little seems to come of it. And that's a problem for me having struggled for so long to come to some sort of workable relationship with a power or deity who chooses to reveal himself/herself in apparent false promises:
"For my yoke is easy and my burden light." Matthew 11, 30
...in irreconcilable contradictions:
"For the Lord loves justice and right and fills the earth with goodness." Ps. 33, 5
...and in elusive mysteries:
"Faith is the realization of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11, 1
This kind of tragedy...not to mention its timing...is enough to raise some serious doubts even among dedicated believers. At Mass tonight, it was reassuring to me to learn that even our pastor struggled to make sense of today's gospel:
"...the Lord is in your midst, you have no further misfortune to fear." Zephaniah 3, 15
In my Roman Catholic heart of hearts, I don't believe that all the prayer in the world is going to bring one moment of peace, one dew drop of solace, or a trace of comfort to the parents and families of the children whose lives were lost at Sandy Hook yesterday...not to mention the first responders whom I, personally, worship.
Nevertheless, when someone else's suffering is paralyzing to witness and we are powerless to help...we may have nowhere else to turn but to prayer, in the hope that someone or something, somewhere, is listening and able to fulfill his/her promises, to reconcile the contradictions, and to answer the question--"How could you let this happen?"--once and for all.
It's gotta be worth a try.