what i want for mother's day

What I Want for Mother's Day:

A hand-written note addressed to God, titled "Why My Mother Deserves a Place in Heaven," written by each of my children attesting to the fact that, even though I may have messed up, I did the best I could and I did it out of the goodness of my heart. Human error is a fact of life.

To celebrate this post I have included a snippet from the novel that is still moldering on a shelf in my study, pleading with me to revise it so I can put it out there again. This scene speaks about the sacrifices that mothers make for their children...the ones that go unnoticed:

    "When Mother first learned she was sick, three months passed before she summoned the nerve to share the news with me. At first, she’d felt confident that it would pass so there was no reason to concern me with her troubles. But when her doctors told her there was nothing more they could do for her, she had no choice. This was the latest chapter in The-Book-of-Motherly-Love that she had penned along with every other mother in the history of the universe:

• Chapter 1: Don’t burden your children with your problems.
• Chapter 2: Sacrifice everything for them.
• Chapter 3: Suffer in silence.
• And the latest chapter, “Don’t let it show."

 

     My mother is the one who wrote the section praising the glories of chicken wings, titled “Do Whatever It Takes." When I was a child and money was tight, she would claim the chicken wings for herself, as though this was an exotic delicacy that only an adult could savor...so that I could have the breast.


 



www.frenhlique.blogspot.com

Then she would push herself away from the table and pat her stomach insisting that she was too full for dessert...so that I could have the last piece of pie...when she hadn’t had anything to eat at all. A couple of lousy chicken wings. I know now that there is nothing about a chicken wing to savor—there is nothing to it at all—because I’ve done the same thing for my family when unexpected company dropped in and there wasn’t enough to go around.

     Mothers make a million sacrifices for their children without asking for anything in return. They do it quietly and joyfully in order to spare their children from hunger or thirst or worry or grief, knowing that they will do the same someday should the need arise.

     So, true to character, when Mother got sick she kept it to herself. She sat there alone when Doctor Kaplan explained the test results to her.



www.stock-photo-medical.com

She dragged herself to the first couple of treatment sessions and bore the side-effects in seclusion. It wasn’t until her doctors insisted that she finally called me.

     “Hello? Katie, dear?”

     “Hi, Mom.”

     We shared the usual pleasantries. Yes, she was still meeting her friends for bridge and, in fact, they were getting together for lunch on Tuesday. They were having a little cold snap and she thought she might need to cover her roses because they'd just started to bud. Yes, Joan’s son was tending to the yard. He’d had to repair one of the screens out back after a branch came down in the wind last week. And, yes, Maggie came every day to help with the house and meals. Then there was a pause.
    
     “Katie, dear?” Her voice cracked.

     “Mom? What is it, Mom?”

     “Katie, sweetheart?  We need to talk.”

     Oh, dear God."

*

If you are a mother, or a mother-to-be, this post is for you.

If you still have your mother, or miss your mother, this post is for you.

If you have never borne a child, if you have lost a child, or you fear for your child, this post is for the burden you bear...the one that goes unnoticed.

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www.entrepremusings.com
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ps.: I love you, too.



 

jan

 

recent reads

When I'm not writing...when I'm not edging and weeding, planting and pruning...when I'm not dusting, vacuuming and mopping...I like to read. The problem is that "There are so many books and so little time!" Nevertheless, I have made it through a few great books recently and I'd like to share them with you. Included in this list are:

"The God Delusion"

by Richard Dawkins

 

 

I'm happy to say that my faith survived this scathing, derogatory and intellectually challenging rant against the existence of God. The arguments and reasoning Dawkins, a devoted atheist, employs make all the sense in the world. He makes you think. He makes you wonder. In the end though, he still doesn't explain how SOMETHING came out of NOTHING and, to me, that leaves the concept of a supernatural creator open to possibility. Read this book at your own spiritual risk.

 

 

"Quiet--The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"

by Susan Cain

 

 

 

"Introvert" is my middle name. "Quiet" is my calling card. If you sometimes feel like a misfit or oddball because you like nothing better than to spend hours alone stringing words together, or if you'd rather take a book to lunch than dine with friends, or if you make excuses to stay in on weekends...you might just be an introvert. Relax! It's OK! You're in excellent company. And after reading this book, you'll be proud of your little niche in this senseless, noisy world.

 

 

"You Should Really Write a Book"

by Regina Brooks (agent with Serendipity Literary Agency) and

Brenda Lane Richardson
 

 

How many times has someone said that to you? Lately, I've used that line with a couple of my friends who have incredible stories to tell, but no desire to write. The thing I like about this discussion of memoir is that it breaks memoir down into various genres (coming of age, addiction/recovery, transformation, etc.) and it also deals with collaborative efforts in writing a shared memoir. My brother and I are in the early stages of writing a shared memoir of childhood illness and the divergent paths we took in life as a result of it.

 

 

"A History of the Present Illness"

by Louise Aronson





 

Louise Aronson is a Harvard medical school graduate and writer. In this book she shares stories and vignettes from the world of medicine from a very personal and compelling perspective. This is a beautifully written and touching study of our fragile human condition. As a physician, it rings true to me and my experience with patients and their families.

 

 

"Empower! Women's Stories of Breakthrough, Discovery, and Triumph"

featuring me

 

 

 

I don't feel as though I can claim this book as my own because my story is just one of 25 incredible stories by women who have overcome difficult challenges in order to find personal fulfillment and success. I'm actually reading it through for the second time already and I'm still astounded. In this book you'll read stories of poverty, life-threatening illness, discrimination, abuse, uncertainty, and longing from women who mustered the necessary strength to move on in their lives. Their courage and ultimate success are an inspiration to all of us. It is available at http://www.amazon.com/Empower-Stories-Breakthrough-Discovery-Triumph/dp/1482712253/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365899090&sr=1-1&keywords=Empower%21

 

Eight books are staring at me right now, wondering when I'll get around to them. Among them are: "The Lobotomist", "The Wisdom of the Body", "Say You're One of Them", "Open Heart" by Elie Wiesel, and "Tapestry of Fortunes" by Elizabeth Berg. I feel a week at the beach coming on...

 

What book are you reading? What book are you writing?

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I want to congratulate my soul-searching brother for completing the 2013 A to Z Blog Challenge this year. He finished by sharing this poem. I love it! "Z is for":

 

ZEBRA

“I asked the Zebra,

are you black with white stripes?

Or white with black stripes?

And the zebra asked me,

Are you good with bad habits?

Or are you bad with good habits?

Are you noisy with quiet times?

Or are you quiet with noisy times?

Are you happy with some sad days?

Or are you sad with some happy days?

Are you neat with some sloppy ways?

Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?

And on and on and on and on and on and on he went.

I’ll never ask a zebra about stripes...again.”

-- Shel Silverstein



Are you a reader with the desire to write...or a writer with the desire to read?

jan



 







"if you want to write"

This week's post comes to you compliments of Brenda Ueland, from her work titled, "If You Want to Write--A Book About Art, Independence and Spirit."

 

 

At the end of the book she sums it up this way: If you want to write:

• Believe that you have talent, are original and have something important to say.



www.etsy.com



• Believe that it is good to work. Work with love and think about liking it when you do. Think of it as easy and interesting. It is a privilege. There is nothing hard about it but your own anxious vanity and fear of failure.

www.facebook.com/happywriter

• Write freely and wrecklessly in your first drafts.

• Tackle anything you want to--novels, plays, poetry, anything.

www.pwpl.org

• Don't be afraid to write a bad story. To discover what is wrong with it write two more and then go back to it.

• Don't fret or be ashamed of what you have written in the past. Often it is a way of anticipating critcism, saying hurriedly, " I know this is awful!" before anyone else does. Fight this tendency which is, much of it, due not to splendid modesty, but to a lack of self-respect. Very bad and very cowardly. It is so conceited and timid to be ashamed of one's mistakes. Of course they are mistakes. Go on to the next thing.

• Try to discover your true, honest, untheoretical self.

• Don't think of youself...as a tangle of nerves in the skull that will not work unless you drink coffee.



www.healthtap.com



         Think of yourself as an incandescent power, illluminated perhaps and forever talked to by God and his messengers. Remember how wonderful you are, what a miracle!



www.myopera.com

 

• If you are never satisfied with what you write, that is a good sign. It means that your vision can see so far that it is hard to measure up to it...The only unfortunate people are the glib ones, immediately satisfied with their work. To them the ocean is only knee-deep.

www.bestofweb.com

• When you are discouraged, remember what van Gogh said: "If you hear a voice within you saying, "You are no painter." then paint by all means, and that voice will be silenced.

www.laughingsquid.com

• Don't be afraid of yourself when you write. Don't check-rein yourself. If you are afraid of being sentimental, for heaven's sake, be as sentimental as you can. Then you will probably pass through to the other side and slough off sentimentality because now you understand it and really don't care about it.

• Don't appraise yourself, wondering if you are better or worse than other writers.

www.famousquotesabout.com

 

Kinda makes you want to begin again, doesn't it?

*

"We start out in our lives as little children,

full of light and the clearest vision.

Then we go to school and then comes on the great army

of schoolteachers with their critical pencils,

and parents and older brothers and cantakerous friends,

and finally the Great Murderer of the Imagination--

a world of unceasing, unkind, dinky, prissy

Criticalness."

--Brenda Ueland--

*

So far, the response to the release of "Empower! Women's Stories of Breakthrough, Discovery, and Triumph" has been overwhelmingly positive! I know I couldn't put it down once I started reading everyones' stories. You can order it here: http://www.amazon.com/Empower-Stories-Breakthrough-Discovery-Triumph/dp/1482712253/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365899090&sr=1-1&keywords=Empower%21 My chapter is titled, "Begin Again", of course! Thanks for your support.

jan



down time

We all deserve a little "down time" now and then, don't you think? Even Mother Nature can't be at the top of her game every day of every week of every season. Which is why it's the middle of April and parts of the country are still buried under snow...

www.minnesota.publicradio.org

...and those of us who have been spared are still worried our tulips will freeze.

 

 

Although, to her credit, Mother Nature did share a moment of inspiration with us last week when she let loose with four days of glorious, though unseasonably...dare I say it?...HOT weather. But now it's back to the same old thing--the cold, the wind, the mud--just when things were looking up. It makes you wonder. Will spring ever come to stay? Will summer ever get here? Does Mother Nature just need a little "down time"?

 

This comes to mind because that's just how my writing has been going lately. I've been slogging back and forth through the last three chapters of my WIP for weeks, not making much progress.

 

www.jamieprovencher.com





Except for a rare moment of inspiration, I have been stuck. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever get to the end. If I'll ever move on.

 

Like Mother Nature, I think we all need a little "down time" in our writing, because, in Brenda Ueland's words,

 

"Inspiration comes very slowly and quietly...

The imagination needs moodling--

long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and puttering."

 

 

Patience. Optimism. Nuturing. You can no more rush a thought into being than you can hurry the seasons along.

 

Eventually, summer will get here. Sooner or later the story will finish itself.

 

Do you ever experience "down time"? Do you let it discourage you? Are you open to what will come of it?

*

"...it is the way you are to feel when you are writing--

happy, truthful, and free,

with that wonderful contented absorption

of a child stringing beads.

With complete self-trust."

--from Brenda Ueland in "If You Want to Write"--

*

Next week I may work up the courage to share an idea about another book with you.

jan



"EMPOWER!": now available

This week marked an important milestone for me, the aspiring writer. One hundred copies of our book, "Empower!--Stories of Breakthrough, Discovery and Triumph" arrived at my house the same day the book appeared on Amazon. We are now officially open for business!

 

I say "we" because twenty-five of us contributed to the book, and I want ot give credit where credit is due. In fact, today I am going to introduce you a few more of the women who share their stories in this book. If you are ready to break through your fear, overcome the obstacles to your fulfillment, and embrace your life, the stories in this book will inspire you to share your special gifts with the world.

*

 



Mandy Cunningham is a marketing and lifestyle expert who strives to be an agent of inspiration and positive energy in the world. She is a founder and president of West Virginia Young Professional Women in Energy (YPWE). Her passion is to inspire women to succeed in life and in business. Learn more about her at MandyCunningham.com. She writes about difficult decisions and making the right choices for ourselves:

"...take time to develop your dreams,

nurture your passions and

determine what is non-negotiable in your life.

Define the life that you want to live

and hold tight to the path that will produce that life."

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Susan Purifoy is the director of Convey Services at Copper Services in Atlanta, Georgia. She learned to persevere against the odds following a disabling stroke at the age of 41. You can learn more about her journey at http://awestruckwonder.wordpress.com/. She writes:

 

"That's the resolution of the whole thing,

my ability to accept who I am today and to see others around me.

I know that my stroke was a gift

to help me focus less on the woman in the mirror,

to pay attention to life as it presents itself, and to encourage others who  struggle."

 

 

                               *

 

Marcie Mauro is driven to help women find more freedom, more fulfillment and more fun by creating a satisfying and financially rewarding business they love. You can meet her at www.marciemauro.com. She overcame her own inner critic to allay fear of the unknown. She writes:

 

"Fear is not an indication that you should give up

or that failure is imminent.

It's simply an opportunity to check in to see if you're on track,

if you are growing in the work you are meant to do,

if you are helping the people you are meant to help,

if you are caring for yourself in the way you would care for others."

 



 *

Finally, Amelia Roncone insists that:

 

"Decision is the biggest barrier to making a change.

If you risk nothing, you risk everything.

Most people think and dream of better lives or sexier jobs,

but the courage to make that leap is what separates

the dreamers from the doers.

You are not a finished product until you choose to be."

Amelia founded Young Professional Women in Energy and also serves fine cuisine to business and social gatherings through her catering business, Amelia's Elegant Catering, at http://www.ameliascatering.com/ .

                    *

 

This is just a small sampling from a few of the women who contributed to "Empower!".  I can almost guarantee that you will see yourself in one or more of these stories, that you will be touched by the honesty and truth of what you read, and that you will be inspired to think about your own life, why you are here, and what you are meant to do.

"Empower! is now available at http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Janet-Cincotta/e/B00CB483WK/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

 

I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as we enjoyed creating it for you. We would love it if you could give us a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads.

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"EMPOWER is an international soup of inspired stories

flavored by women of all persuasions

who have been there and lived to tell about it."

--Gima Mazza--

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https://twitter.com/patpaolinocruz/status/298992525350416384/photo/1

 

Happy reading!

jan



music to an agent's ears

I'm just two or three scenes away from finishing my second novel...meaning that before too long, I'll be sending out a flurry of query letters. With luck, someone will ask to see a few pages of my manuscript. The problem is that the entire piece of work will be judged based on just a few opening lines. I never understood that. It didn't seem fair to me...until this week. Now, I get it. If you enjoy good music, you will, too. Let me explain.

www.mindofthegeek.com

I was flipping through the tracks of a favorite CD this week, looking for something--I don't know what--something sweet and sad. I often use music to set the mood for a scene I'm writing and this week the scene marked the end of a blossoming relationship between my protagonist and the woman he was falling in love with.


www.stylefrizz.com

 As I went from track to track, I found that I could tell within the first few chords whether the music was right for me or not--not too heavy, not too energetic, but melodic and tender.

 

www.blogs.wsj.com

 

I knew in a flash if the piece was by Bartok (whose music I dislike) or Bach (whose music I love), if it was orchestral or choral, if it was raucous or lilting. I didn't have to listen to the whole piece to know what I wanted.  



And this, I think, is how it is with agents. It works the same way for them. They can tell in the first few lines if your book is what they're looking for.





www.business-opportunities.biz

Is the genre something they represent? Is the voice strong and clear?  Can they expect humor or suspense or horror? Are there mistakes in grammar and punctuation right from the start? If the first few lines don't appeal to them, why would they read on?

Why would you listen to Bartok when you can have Bach?

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"To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about,

but the music the words make."

--Truman Capote--

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Spring is still holding out on us.  I would love to see some green grass and cherry blossoms in time for my daughter's bridal shower next weekend. My book, "Empower!" should be available soon. Lots going on...

jan

signs of spring

www.longbeachstuff.com

Today is a cold, gloomy Easter Day in south central Pennsylvania, not conducive to Easter egg hunts or frilly spring dresses...unlike yesterday which swept in like a breath of spring, sunny and warm. It was perfect for a nice long walk around the block. This is to reassure you that better days are on the way. The earliest signs of spring are popping up everywhere...literally.

The first dandelion of the season:



"When the crop grew and bore fruit,
the weeds appeared as well."
Matthew 13: 26

The tiniest woodland flowers:

 

"Learn from the way the wild flowers grow."
 Matthew 6: 28

 

New growth everywhere:

 

"When you send forth your breath, they are created,
and you renew the face of the earth."
Ps. 104: 30



 

A babbling brook:

 

"You made springs flow into channels
that wind among the mountains."
 Ps. 104: 10

 





Leaves unfolding:

 

"I bud forth delights like the vine,
my blossoms become fruit fair and rich."
Sirach 25: 17

 

And freedom, at last, for the horses across the way:

 

"You raise grass for the cattle
and plants for our beasts of burden."
Ps. 104: 14

 

All of it fresh and eager and expectant. Except, of course, for this:

 

"Because of this the earth shall mourn."
Jeremiah 4: 28

Just sayin'...

 

Wishing you a happy and hopeful Easter!

 

 

 

 

jan