What more will it take to make a believer of me? A miraculous vision? A certain “sign”? Some inexplicable coincidence? Certainly reason and knowledge and experience have failed me so far.The problem is that the Church contradicts itself, giving glory to God for the good fortune and healing that some of us enjoy while dismissing the pain and suffering of others. By placing understanding out of our reach. By insisting on faith while denying us knowledge.
Many of us strive to observe the teachings and tenants of our faith despite our doubt and dissent. Some rely on intuition, or personal preference, or individual interpretation to guide their faith journey. Some give up on it altogether. There is no sure proof, no infallible evidence, no tangible sign that cannot be explained away by an unbeliever. Nor is there any kind of suffering or sorrow or loss that can convince a truly dedicated believer otherwise.
And so some of us are left to drift, sometimes drawing closer to belief…sometimes shifting away from it. Some of us continue to search out the truth…some refuse to consider it. Some embrace the presence of God wholly and surely…some toy with the idea according to whim…some dismiss it totally.
If infallible knowledge of God is impossible for us, I suppose the fact that we bother to question, and continue to seek, and are motivated by hope is a good thing. It seems to be the force that keeps me going. It draws me back and propels me along the journey that others already seem to have completed.Where are you on your journey? Where will it take you?
“The true mystery of the world is the visible,
not the invisible.”
*I’m off to work At Our Lady of Hope Children’s Home in Spur Tree, Jamaica next week. Proof there is a God…