Sunday, November 30, 2014

best gifts for writers

This Year's Best Gifts for Aspiring Writers
A supply of Seven Year Pens~~After all, that's just about how long it will take them to finish writing their NY Times best-seller. These are perfect for when the power goes off or their laptop crashes. They can just keep on writing.
A treadmill writing desk~~Be sure to include a gift card that wishes them good health in the New Year. Don't mention the spreading hips or expanding waistline.
Coffee wine~~For the caffeine addict/wine lover in your life, it solves two problems without dirtying glassware unnecessarily, and, yes~~it does exist. Check it out here.

And, for those who claim they don't want ANYTHING for Christmas, you can always try this:
A word of sincere appreciation~~This doesn't mean you have to gush over their epic dystopian romantic thriller if you're not into that kind of thing. No, it means you understand how hard they work, the dedication it takes, the solitude it requires. The missed meals, sleepless nights, and unpredictable mood swings that you have not only witnessed, but experienced yourself just by being around them.

An encouraging word~~It says to them that you understand their need to stare out the window or at a blank wall for days on end to come up with just the right word, and no, you don't think they're lazy good-for-nothing loafers because that's how they've chosen to spend their entire adult life.
A gentle critique~~Start like this: "I enjoyed reading your 856 page manuscript, 'Moo Cow Makes It Home'...." Nod and say it with a smile. After all, you don't want to alienate the author, especially if it's your spouse or best friend. After you flatter them you may then point out salient problems as you see them, "...but it's a little long for a children's book." You'll be doing them a favor.


A contract, if you're an agent or editor~~You have the easy job. No shopping around for you. No fretting over what to give. This is guaranteed to be a big hit under the Christmas tree.

With just twenty-five shopping days until Christmas, what's on your list?
"Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store?
What if Christmas
means a little bit more?"
~~Dr. Seuss~~


  1. Seven year pens...what a hoot. I wonder what they based average usage on?

    1. Haha! I have pens that have been sitting in a drawer for seven years. Does that make them seven year pens?